It's not like you didn't see this coming. It's hard, given our past history together, but now it's time to go public and to make it official. You know too well, Big Sports, how we touched then went our separate ways. Why the break up now? I'll be missing the most sacred of your days. A ski trip planned on Super Bowl Sunday is one huge slap in the face on your most holy of holies.
I just don't feel the same as I use to. I don't care to watch many sports, especially pro sports. I'm not in the know because I'm just not that into you. I'm fascinated by your science, but the rest of the attraction is simply carnal. I don't love you. I hope we can still be friends.
It's a tragedy for me to see the dream is over. And I never will forget the day we met. We were tight from the beginning when momma lay my newborn head in a baseball glove. My spirit was nurtured by dads professional ties, not to mention the immense joy born of Steeler mania that pervaded the entire realm of my formative years. You kept straight the path of my youth. Anybody knew us; knew we were good together. So good together.
Then I left for college. Would our relationship survive? You stood firmly by my side when I had to abruptly break it off with Video Games. But little did either of us realize the less dramatic drift between us. Sure, we had our friends, but we couldn't manage to find time to invest in our relationship. I began to enjoy academics. I saw value in other pursuits and tutoring undergraduates paid the bills better than anything you could offer.
And now what can I say? Please. No. Put the brackets away before you embarrass yourself. I will resist far more subtle advances. I can't afford to flirt with fantasy football or well-informed men talking team records and stats.
Why the hard line? Well I guess this is growing up:
I'm supposed to treat patients and attend to administrative responsibilities over a 40 hour week. Then I'm supposed to review the literate and latest developments to stay on top of my profession. Maybe I'll even reflect on what I learn from the books and especially from patients.
I'm supposed to value and nurture my wife. She wouldn't stand between us if her love language was praise or things, but too bad for you, it's nothing but time. I'm also supposed to give myself away to four children when I sit at home and when I walk along the road, when I go to bed and when I get up.
I'm supposed to be an informed consumer and to vote on election day. I'm supposed to exercise and not just eat cereal all the time. I'm supposed to be a good, below-the-surface friend to a band of brothers. I'm supposed to mow the lawn and help with dishes and put new wiper blades on the car and fix the leaky toilet.
I'm supposed to hide the Word in my heart. I'm supposed to look for opportunities to study the Scriptures and lead in discussion and put my faith into action by serving my neighbor. When that's all said and done, I'm supposed to enjoy long periods of silent prayer and meditation, alone, listening to God. I'm supposed to schedule quiet time when it doesn't happen to happen, which is usually the case. I'm supposed to get 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night.
Do you understand, Big Sports? It's nothing personal. While there's life in my bones to play sports and other recreation activities, you'll find me doing over watching anything, unless there's a personal connection. It's not like I'm going to the movies all the time or out golfing all day or on ski trips. Oh, wait, that's right...
I'm sorry. Don't speak. It's all ending, we gotta stop pretending who we are.
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1 comment:
I approve of your decision. I also think that you're going to have to break up with something else too, but you'll probably just do what I do and cheat on your sleep. It hurts, but not as much as breaking up with sleep entirely and sleep seems to be one of those "hang around and just appreciate whatever attention you can give her" kind of girls.
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